Saturday, 18 May 2013

Wish You Were Here



At the time of writing, it’s two months, today, since my Mum died.

There’s that sense of paradox - which will be immediately, if eerily familiar to those who have lost parents they love - that it seems just seconds gone that I heard the news, but it happened a lifetime ago.

I’ve cried with despair, howled and chugged like storm water down drains, and I’ve caught myself smiling, watching the Sunset. I’ve quietly rocked my shoulders with lonesome tears, then been caught in the shine of the many thousands of people around the world who threw their strength at me.

Thank you.

I miss her, of course.

Life goes on, and she gave me my life to go on with.

On the dresser in the living room of my house… my Mum’s house… there are photographs of the people she loved…

There’s one particular photo, of my Mum’s father, who I never met… and I know now that she looked at it every day and said she loved him and missed him.

I know this because, above his photo, there’s a photo of my Mum, and that’s all I can do, now.

It’s not always difficult.

Things do get better.

I think it’s teaching me how to really smile again.

Wednesday, 15 May 2013

A Decent Proposal



The past seven months or so have been the most difficult in my life: from a collapsed lung and subsequent near-fatal haematoma last October, to the death of my beloved Mum on March 17th of this year, and trudging through that grief... it’s been rough going… it still is, at times, and I’m sure I’ll have plenty of low moments in the months ahead, but that’s life and life must go on.

That said, my ‘life situation’ is quite precarious right now and I could use some help in overcoming that… hence the proposal in this blog (which is essentially a crowd-sourcing initiative, though I’m not using IndieGogo or KickStarter due to the urgency to resolve said situation).

I’m not asking for charity – rather, I’m looking for people to invest in Lesism and the potential of my writing… be it a few pounds/dollars or hundreds of them… and as well as getting what I hope is an attractive perk for their contribution level, they will – in time – receive at least twice the initial sum invested – which is a bit more than other crowd-sourcing options return.

So, say, you contribute £25 (eBooks for life), not only will you get every eBook I ever publish in my entire life, but as soon as I can, I’ll give you back £50.

Now, I’m sure some will be thinking right about now that there are dubious maths on this deal, and it would be difficult to double the investment on every contribution I receive, but the truth is I’ve barely begun to develop Lesism to its full potential… yet, I think it’s fair to say that I’ve already done remarkably well in creating a mighty foundation for what’s to come.

I passed through an astonishing ONE MILLION page views on my blog, yesterday, which was exactly two years to the day since I really began pushing my Lesism writing in social media circles.


This translates to approximately one page view per minute, since May 14th, 2011.

In that time, I’ve built up a Twitter following of more than 120,000 people, and there’s a highly active and slightly bonkers crowd of just over 6,500 ‘liking’ my Facebook Page (something I’ve only recently been developing).

Where can I take this in another five years, particularly if I can raise the capital I need to turbo-charge my endeavours?

There’s no reason why I can’t build a multi-million pound, ethical business around my writing… extending my reach into seven or even eight figures…

It’s not about high scores, though: it’s about the amount of people that I’m humbled to be able to say my writing has helped. I’ve received countless messages over the past two years from souls I’ve never met, physically, but who chanced upon my blog and read something that touched their heart, or gave them food for thought enough for them to step away from the brink of something tragic.

Many of the people who have needed the most help have been pointed to these blogs by their friends… people like you… and that’s what’s so beautiful about this new cyber-world we share… literally that we can share our thoughts and experiences and help make a real difference, even from thousands of miles away.

Present Awareness/Mindfulness (the main theme of my Lesism writings) can, without doubt, alleviate anxiety and depression and even save lives, and I’m very fortunate to have the experience and ability of expression to help teach others this practice.

With your support, I can get the stability, space and the tools I need to record audio books and video content for a new, media-rich website; utilize Skype for one-on-one chats with people in need; hold webinars and move on to public speaking, eventually running retreats, as well as training others.

I mean, these are things that will happen and I’m already working towards, but with a bit of capital, I can bring them about much quicker - by a factor of months or even years, in some cases - and I truly believe that if I can do that, we can make a positive difference to a great many lives.

I don’t want to give anyone the illusion that there will be a fast-track turnaround on their investment. It’s going to take time to translate these ideas into substance on the Interlands and elsewhere before I begin to make a profit.

And most of the perks don’t actually exist, yet – at least not outside my brain. The closest to completion is an eBook of edited Lesism blogs, which would have been released in March, if it weren’t for the events of the past few months, but it’s now scheduled for publication at the end of June.

I guess you’d have to approach any contribution as a pre-order of products to come.

Also, I’m not asking people to invest what they can’t afford…

On the ‘risks’ front… well, there is a possibility that I could die of natural causes or through a bizarre act of God, be assassinated for some reason I can’t currently think of, or suffer terrible brain damage after inhaling Weetabix crumbs, but otherwise, since I don’t have the body to be a pole dancer or a gigolo, what I’m going to be doing for the rest of my life is writing.

Finally, before I list the perks available, I just want to say thanks in advance to those who do contribute… like I said, it’s a difficult time and I really appreciate your faith and support, and for helping making a big difference to my life when I need it most.

Hugs,

Les x

P.S. If you have any questions, please give me a shout at LesFloyd@Gmail.com, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.


Perks


Perks

(Remember – as well as receiving the perks, you will also receive twice the initial investment, as soon as it’s feasibly possible for me to pay it... and this will be repaid on a first-come/first-served basis.)


£5 - Blank Page – A big, heart-felt thank you and an eBook copy of ‘Lesism – The Blogs’ (due for release in June, this year)

£10Letter – An eBook copy of my ‘Awakening’ book, to be released in Nov/Dec, this year, plus the above.

£25Word – Every eBook I ever publish, for life, plus all the above.

£50Sentence – A 30-minute Skype chat and an unique, limited edition, badly-drawn cat, sent to you in a traditional envelope, via physical mail (like in the olden days) along with a hand-written ‘thank you’ message… plus all of the above.

£100Paragraph – A 60-minute Skype chat, every Audio Book I ever produce, for life, plus all of the above.

£250Chapter – Everything I ever publish, ever, including lifetime membership subscriptions to websites, first-edition physical copies of books and other printed material, plus all of the above.

£500Book – The recipe for my world-famous lasagne, a bespoke short story, with you (or anyone you nominate) as the lead protagonist, plus all of the above.

£1000Trilogy – Two months hands-on assistance in helping you build up your Twitter and Facebook presence (very useful for business), plus all of the above.

£5000Saga – A 5% ‘share’ in the profits of all my Lesism and literary endeavours, for life, plus all of the above. (Limit of 5)

Give me a shout at LesFloyd@Gmail.com if you'd like to discuss any of these options!

A Ferocious Cat



Perks

Sunday, 28 April 2013

Dark Days



It’s been a tough week – the worst since my Mum passed away… undoubtedly the most difficult time in my entire life.

It’s fair to say I’ve fallen into a depressed state, though this isn’t a relapse to how things used to be before. It’s something new and awful, and whereas my previous encounters with emotional torment were constructs of the untrained, rambling egoic mind, this freezing ache comes from the bitter truth of reality… that she’s gone, and for as long as I walk this earth, I will walk it without her.

If there were people around to console me, over this past week, I would still have been inconsolable.

She died six weeks ago, today. It’s seven weeks since Mother’s Day (in the UK), which was the last time I was able to speak with her, before she began to slip away.

Why did it take so long for this grief to manifest?

I didn’t try to cover it up, hide it or fight it off it in any way. I accepted it… I was accepting of it even before she died. I knew that she was dying and I readied myself as best I could.

It just hit me… overwhelmed me…

I’ve cried like a child… like the child I am, missing my Mum… deep, convulsing sobs and streaming tears…

Life has seemed so empty and futile.

Perhaps some will think of me as a hypocrite - bearing in mind the anti-suicide message in many of my blogs - but, absolutely, yes: I’ve seriously thought about ending myself, because the prospects of an eternity of unbroken, dreamless sleep seems very attractive at the moment.

I’m a spiritual guy, but it’s a practical faith in the living, human spirit. I don’t know what happens after death and there are very few, if any, who truly do. There are many who profess to know, but aren’t they just regurgitating what they’ve learnt from others, rather than experienced themselves?

I digress…

There are two paths ahead. The shorter one leads to a miserable self-destruction, and the other meanders through a long life, well lived.

I don’t know which I’ll end up travelling. And, honestly… the short path seems the more likely route… but I know I have the strength, within, to change that.

I know that I have the ability to pull myself out of the misery, to fall back into the now, to practice what I preach and anchor myself in the tranquillity of the present moment. In fact, I’ve done it so often during this ordeal, that it may well be the primary reason I’m still here.

So, no doubt there will be tough times ahead, but where there’s life, there’s hope, and if I can get through this, then I can get through anything.

I've collapsed before, but I came back far stronger. Time to do it again.