Friday, 12 November 2010

Beautiful Dreamer (Fiction)




Beautiful Dreamer


She was dreaming, her face paled by the full moon which glanced through her curtain as if it were playfully smiling at her in a challenge of peek-a-boo.

Her eyelids flickered restlessly, hiding a tempest. She whispered a name, inaudible, and turned on her side, gently biting her lower lip and holding it between her teeth.

With the softest moan, a tear grew like a honey drop on one lash, then fell, rolling slowly down her cheek.

The wind blew outside, and the sad old tree bowed to her.

A hush passed among the stars in the heavens, then two tiny flecks of the most wonderful bright blue light fell like electric snowdrops, dancing playfully around each other as they circled down through the crisp autumn darkness and drifted lazily to her window.

There the lights stopped, bobbing in the wind.

"She sleeps, my Mab," said a voice like a soft crystal chime.

The lights glided to her, through the window glass, and fell into orbit above her unsettled dreams.

"Oh..." cried another voice, "... her heart is so sad."

The lights drew closer, kissing her cheek with their glow.

"She is soooo beautiful, Mab," came a whisper.

"But she is hurting."

In night silence, the guardian lights paused, feeling her thoughts. They watched her face, the soft skin of her brow furrowed in an unseen misery. They heard the gentle beat of her heart, trapped and lonely in her chest. They sensed the loss.

"I have it!" declared Mab, and span in the air, up and down, then around the room in a speeding circle, growing faster and faster with every circuit.

"Mab?" asked the other, confused.

"Join me! Join me!" sang Mab.

The smaller light followed, wobbling, hesitating to reach pace and unite with the laser light trail of Mab. "What... are... you... doing?" panted the voice as it finally came in line with Mab.

"Bringing on the morn!" said the excited Mab. "Faster! Go faster!"

And faster and faster they went, so very fast, until a ring of pure white hung above the girl and a soft harmony of voice began to fill the room.

Outside, the tired moon slipped from the sky, behind the violet-lined horizon, and, one by one, the twinkling stars in the heavens went out.

Through the window, a solitary ray of sunlight came, hesitant as a lamb to the world, and it crept through the shadow, cutting the darkness away. The guardian lights fell in beside it, guiding it to the bed and the girl.

They lead it to her face, and the warmth of the soft, yellow light evaporated the tear on her cheek, and all trace of its path.

They carried it onward to her chest, and there they stopped, and the ray of light shone.

It shone brightly, caressing her torment, filling her soul.

She absorbed it.

"Have you done it, Mab?" asked the voice.

The guardian lights danced, darting too and fro.

"She has Sunshine in her heart." said Mab, proudly. "And she will always know love."

A laugh tinkled, faint to any listening ear. "Then our work is done, and home we go!"

"Our work is done," sighed Mab. "Let beauty be at peace."

With a final look to the vision before them, the sparks of brilliant blue departed, through the window glass, and faded away into where there were stars before.

And in the dawn; as the powder blue of morning spread across the sky; and the songbirds began their chorus in the meadow; just for a moment, still in dream, the sleeping girl smiled.

The End 

116 comments:

  1. Sweet. Are you going to take it somewhere in the future?

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  2. I'm not sure where I could take such a story. :-)

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    1. May I suggest the waste basket?

      Seriously, Les, I can't believe the artist responsible for those excellent cartoons is the perpetrator of this over-the-top Harlequin Romance purple prose. Reading this "story" was like unpacking a bale of styrofoam peanuts to get to a sugar cube.

      The "less is more" principal doesn't merely apply to cartoons (and tweets) but to every form of creative and semi-creative communication, from journalism to ballet.


      'Having lost her lover she went to bed with a broken heart. The morning sun dried her tears and healed the wound'...pretty much says it all.


      I know my candor is not going to endear me to you (or your admirers) but I respect you too much to shine you on. If you think this is good writing, please name ONE author you admire who has a similar style.

      And it doesn't even have to be a male.







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    2. I think it's clear that I respect you, Bill... this story has been read more than 20,000 times, though, and you're the first to document criticism. I'll take that ratio! :-)

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    3. Hey Bill Marantz... Excuse me ?

      "Name one ?

      Fancy this guy, way to go Mr. Charm, why not learn NOT to criticize publicly, it shows immaturity and a penchant for conflict and antagonism. Your trying to hide behind 'protecting' an author then say what you do and demand he cite others, just who are you ? Get some manners. Guess this doesn't endear me to you but meh, critics are a dime a million.

      Les, thanks for your efforts...

      Namaste.

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    4. Bill Marantz. YOU obviously have not experienced either love or a heartbreak. So good for you. One cannot fill a cup that is already full.

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  3. Very beautiful she whispered softly...

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    1. Beautiful she whispered...

      I'm posting this for your benefit, Les. If you prefer the original version forget everything I've said about "less" being "more" and we can part as friends.

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    2. Uhhh just because it doesn't suit you Bill Marantz doesn't mean We don't like it. I,for one, thought it was beautiful. I'm a spirit medium and know for a fact that our guides talk to us whilst we sleep, so that little story was a nice "visual" for me. And the fact that you would part as friends with Les speaks volumes...and not in a good way :(. Much Peace and Love to you Bill Marantz

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  4. Thank you, mysterious stranger! :-)

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  5. i love this story. It's made me smile. You're a very talented writer, Les.

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  6. Tender beautiful words. If only heartbreak could solve itself so eaily. Wonderful writing dear friend. (Hugs)Indigo

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  7. ClearlyMeLuise10 June 2011 at 01:03

    This is really healing to the heart. Very beautiful and a loving gift to a grieving friend.

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  8. I really believe it can be solved easily, Indigo. Thanks for the comment! Hugs back! :-)

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  9. Thank you, Luise! It worked - it made her smile. :-)

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  10. Very beautiful. It touches the very core of one's heart.It is soft and yet has a very deep meaning.(:

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  11. A beautiful story! I love your descriptions. I could feel the emotion of hurting to peacefulness as I read. You are a very talented writer!

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  12. "She has sunshine in her heart" and "she will always know love." Who could ask for anything more? Absolutely beautiful. Thanks for sharing this! :)

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  13. Aw, thank you for reading, Evie! :-)

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  14. Nicely abstact and lots of subtle emotion...like it.

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  15. Like everyone else...I agree! Truly beautiful story :-)

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  16. Thank you so much, Grace! :-)

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  17. Poignant. Sometimes it's the words or the voice of a friend, or even a stranger, which plants that tiny sunbeam inside of the brokenhearted :)

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  18. Ahhhh so sedate, wonderful, at peace...loved it.

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  19. Hope for all of us out there with breaking hearts. Find the sunshine. Beautiful!

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  20. Thank you so much, Laura! :-)

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  21. You are Fast becoming one of my Favorite Authors..Looking forward to more.Thank you for the awesome story-Linda

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  22. Gosh, thank you, Linda! Glad you're enjoying! :-)

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  23. Gatha for 'Beautiful Dreamer'

    Remember Love...

    Tear drop falls, lite
    All of life inside
    Heart bleeds open
    The moon is full
    Why are we here
    To remind
    Of what
    Love

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  24. Your voice warms like sunshine, Les. This was sublime for its simplicity.

    eden

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  25. Aw, thank you, Eden. :-)

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  26. Beautiful, my heart needed that as well.

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  27. Thank you - and glad it helped! :-)

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  28. What a beautiful piece of writing. So sweet. Your friend is very lucky. I hope this makes her smile. Thank you for sharing. :)

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  29. Thank you, Kyra! Glad you enjoyed it. :-)

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  30. It is lovely .. I think it may have helped heal my broken heart a little ... :) thankyou x

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  31. I hope it eases soon, Izzy. :-) x

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  32. the best gift one can give to a grieving friend. beautifully written. Thanks for the share.

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  33. A lovely bedtime story - thank you - i look forward to my dreams tonight. Blessings Heather

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  34. Art. I would like to frame the beautiful color of these brush-stroke words and hang it in a place where I'll witness its vivid dimension daily.

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  35. Beautiful tender and moving work, You were caressing the words, encouraging them to do her justice and they really did.

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  36. This is beautiful! I enjoyed every moment that I spent reading it.

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  37. Your descriptions are so beautiful. This was really lovely. I hope it brought your beautiful friend peace...

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  38. Wonderfully written! Thanks for sharing this...

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  39. Thank you, Heather! I glad you enjoyed it and had beautiful dreams yourself! :-)

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  40. Thank you so much, Lisa! That's a lovely thing to say. :-)

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  41. It was such a gentle writing process, yes, Alix. Thanks! :-)

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  42. I think it did, at least for a moment, journeytoepiphany. Thank you! :-)

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  43. Thanks, touched2mysoul! Glad you enjoyed it! :-)

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  44. Exquisite.
    Thank you from my broken heart.

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  45. This is beautiful, Les - keep up the great work! Rebecca x

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  46. I'm sure your story helped heal the heart of your friend. Very nice work.
    Myles Murchison

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  47. what a wonderful gift you gave to your friend. i hope he or she has kept the sunshine bright in his/her heart as well. c",)

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  48. *Very nice!*

    The many comments here are proof of the wisdom in your lovely heartfelt words. I wish I had as many comments on my "newish" blog :D I guess that is proof your words hit home, whereas mine, well my debut fiction novel words were not written to bring out the same emotions as yours do.

    *Yours are simply beautiful!

    PS I'm so glad I saw your post on Twitter before I went to sleep tonight. I've also joined your blog to read future posts.

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  49. This is so beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes.

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  50. never have i paid much attention to blogs but yours i keep returning to. i am hooked on your writting.

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  51. this is so beautiful. if only my heart ache could be solved in such a simple, similar fashion. your descriptions were simply delicious. love this<3

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  52. much like angel wings are your words..those crystal light visited my 2 weeks ago..nice to learn they have proper names

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  53. You are one of those blue lights, Len... bringing the knowledge of love to this world, and the light of peace to troubled hearts.

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  54. This is amazing. Sad and beautiful.

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  55. Wow beautiful I so wish it could be that easy.

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  56. That was beautiful! Your an awesome writer:)

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  57. 'Electric snowdrops'...nice...very nice! One could almost believe this piece was written for a 'hypothetical' friend.

    A good day to you!

    Http://terrebelius.blogspot.com

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  58. ahh to have a friend like you...beautiful!

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  59. Oh my Les <3 You have such a way with words. I never tire of reading them. Maybe you can send Mab and friend my way... I could use some extra sunshine and love.
    How I wish I could hug you.

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  60. Hey Tina! I wish I could hug you, too. If I could get this damn teleporter working, I'd be over there this evening! <3

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  61. This is very comforting, I am sure it made a great gift!

    -Erick Flores

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  62. What a lovely post, dear Les! Thank you! It always feels nice to meet people who see the magic in life as clearly as you do:) Come play on my blog sometime, wont you? I write about the magic in the everyday and I'd love to have you:)

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  63. Beautiful story. I love the imagery of the sad old tree.

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  64. This is absolutely awesome... I love it :) Shared it on my FB :)

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  65. A beautiful story. Thank you for an arrangement of words put together that ends in the essence of peace. Amazing!!

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  66. Simply beautiful!

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  67. Very beautiful and captivating writing

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  68. What a great beginning to my day! Very moving, very lovely. What a wonderful writer you are. I look forward to reading more from you.

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  69. Les, you seem to know things that only the ones with a kind hearted muse can know. Beautifully written!

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  70. She has sunshine in her heart - just beautiful!

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  71. Wow, I love the way you write. Serious natural talent there! Was a pleasure reading this :)

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  72. If you write from the heart, it can never be wrong. <3

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  73. You have such eloquence and serenity intertwined throughout your writing. Thank you for sharing.

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  74. Have read this several times ... always come away feeling good

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  75. Less being more doesn't apply here. Calling this a "story" doesn't do it justice. This is pure prose. Thank you for sharing.

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  76. A beautiful story of acceptance, compassion and hope Les. I believe there is more to your story because this is the kind of response I would need from my heart or another loving heart to heal. Bravo!

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  77. It is a lovely fey story and I believe something this world needs more of. As far as those who critisize, meh- any fool can critisize and most fools often do. - said with much love and respect in the left handed way :)

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  78. This is a beautiful, beautiful story. I smiled and cried a little too. Thanks for sharing :)

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  79. You have a gift, Les. Use it well and use it wisely. You can take people to another dimension with this. And without going deeper it still stands as a 'beautiful moment' a reader can enjoy 'midst the chaos and pressure of life. And thanks.

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  80. I'll bet Billy Boy Marantz has never written anything creative much less read a book. With that said i loved the story it was so poignant and it made me smile. Beautifully written Les. Keep sharing your talents with us. Let your haters be your motivators. It will only make you stronger. Peace.

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